On Tuesday I met up with Lisa, Ellie and Terri on, catching them on their way to Australia. I met them in the afternoon and took them to the Monkey Forest as I hadn't been there yet. It is a reserve for the Balinese long-tailed macaque and houses three sacred temples. Right in the centre of town you are transported to a lost world upon entering. You walk down into a forested valley, with winding paths that lead down to the stream at its heart. Monkeys are running wild, rustling the trees, soaking up the sun and being mischievous. We saw several monkeys getting down and dirty, whilst others were sprawled out along the paths blocking our passage. It was really good fun and a great chance to catch up with the girls. We got to see a couple in traditional dress having there wedding photos taken and had a look around one of the temples. Stopping over the bridge to take photos, I also got attacked by a monkey who had felt a plastic bottle in my bag. Rooting through it, he tossed aside my wallet and retrieved his play toy. I thought it best to stand still. The girls thought it best to take photos.
In the evening I went to look up flights for Will. He told me a few days before that he could no longer afford to come visit me. It broke my heart knowing it wouldn't be till October when I could next see him! I searched for over 2 hours, looking at numerous comparison websites and phoning dozens of travel agencies. After all that effort, I had to conclude that it was just too expensive. I left feeling so low. I had a shit weekend and now I wasn't going to get to see the love of my life for FIVE months. I walked slowly back to my bike. Negative thoughts began to consume me. Why couldn't Will afford to see me? Why did I go to Kuta? Why have I had such a crap week? Walking down the hill to my bike, I thought that at this rate my bike would be stolen too.
Shit! My bike! Bollocks! Where is it?
I broke down in tears. Low and behold, it had been stolen. Why is all this happening? I headed back to THK. Taking me almost half an hour, I returned home to find the place in silence. Justin was asleep and Suha was out. I cried myself to sleep that night.
Feeling very vulnerable and short tempered, a minor remark from Justin made be break down in tears at work. Shaking and short of breath, and went to sit down. I tried to hide my tears but they kept coming. It was uncontrollable. I had been conned out of money (which I may have failed to mention) in Kuta, my Mum was going through a horrible time and I couldn't comfort her, I couldn't see Will for another 3 months and now my bike has been stolen!!
Steve arrived and I hid in my embaressment. I didn't do a good job as he saw me and came and sat down beside me. He smiled, put his hand on my shoulder and comforted me. He gave me a somewhat inspirational speech that made me put things into perspective, telling me everything's OK and that everyone was behind me. I had such a great support system round me. I was doing a job I loved and was living in an Island paradise. Everything's OK.
I came to realise that I just wasn't putting things into perspective and that by not dealing with my issues straight away, and bottling up the emotions, the small issues became big ones. I was oozing negativity and it was generating bad karma. I was my own worst enemy, my thoughts were constantly clouded and I wasn't expressing how I felt. It rang true for a lot of my life. Small problems became big ones when I didn't deal with them. Emotions ran wild after supressing them for too long. I was coming to realise that I needed to believe in myself more, coming to realise that a problem shared really is a problem halved and coming to realise that I have so much potential. Longing to find a purpose, this really was becoming a journey of self-discovery.
Feeling calm and collected, I went back to work. In no time the smile was back on my face. When we finished, we all took a trip to Sari Organic for lunch. Just outside of the city centre, we were transported to the Bali I had been longing to see. Nestled amongst rice paddies, the tranquil landscape calmed and comforted me. It was a beautiful sunny day, the birds were singing and I was in paradise. I am so thankful for all I have experienced so far. This was one of my highlights! After lunch, we all went to have a look at the restaurants organic garden. We got to see what techniques they had been using and talked about ways we thought they could improve their practice. I really enjoyed generating some ideas. I'm starting to learn more and more.
That evening Suha decided to leave. He said he had been feeling out of place for a while and he found it difficult to communicate. It was unexpected but he said he would return. He never did. Me and Justin were feeling slightly perplexed but equally understanding. We both knew deep down that something was up, but unlike myself, Suha felt unable to express what he had been dealing with. What an emotional day!
When Lindsey arrived the next day for work we found out she was upset. That same night, she had found out something about a guy she was dating that she didn't want to. We both decided we needed to get away for a while. After work we both headed to town and booked a tour for that weekend.
Friday night we were back at Steve and Rebecca's for dinner. The usual crew was there, and we drank into the wee hours of the morning. Left feeling hungover, me and Lindsey were off at 8am to catch the bus for our tour.
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